Gala Darling Challenge #8

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‘Write the birthdays of your personal heroes in your planner & work out a way to honour them on that day. ‘

– Gala Darling, 100 Things To Do When You’re Upset (The Sad Trombone List)

 

I have three personal heroes in my life, outside of my family, who never fail to inspire me to want to be better than I am. They are all quite different personalities and have contributed to the world in extremely different ways, but somehow their stories connect with me. I have only met one of my heroes, (Kylie, very briefly, at a Kids Helpline fundraiser) but they have all play such an influential role in my life. My spirit and heart seem to be on fire when I read an article or a book about them, or hear them speak or perform or give an interview. Their decisions, contributions, mistakes and determination inspire me to breathe through the fear and give it a go…whatever that “it” may be.

So it seems quite fitting to celebrate their birthdays in my own way and acknowledge the impact they have had on my life. Perhaps it will be with a cup cake and a whispered happy birthday…perhaps a re-read of a biography, (Richard Branson’s autobiography, Losing My Virginity, was an eye opener for me) or another afternoon watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Perhaps I will take action in their name…make a donation to one of their charities, or do something that I think they may find fitting, like go to the ballet, have a Pink Afternoon Tea to raise awareness and money for breast cancer…or perhaps try something a bit daring like rock climbing?

My three heroes, Audrey Hepburn, Kylie Minogue and Richard Branson are all so different, but all have become creative and determined game changers ~ refusing to become victims, overcoming extraordinary challenges to not only change their own lives, but the lives of others around them.

To me they are luminous and immortal.

Who are your heroes?

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Gala Darling Challenge # 5

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“Throw yourself head-first into a creative project. Something that you’re excited about but which feels a little too big for you. You’ll be so consumed by it that it will fuel you for ages.” – Gala Darling

I love GD Challenge Days!

Sometimes I have to think about how I might achieve the challenge for the week. Today was pretty simple though. I have been looking forward to this one so much.

I decided to start my Radical Self Love Bible today.

The first task was to go shopping for a journal that I could draw, write and paste pictures in. It doesn’t have to be expensive. You ca pick up some great journals from the $2 shops or KMart. If you are a bit more flush with cash you could head to Smiggle or Kiki K.

I got a great journal and then had heaps of fun in the craft section of KMart picking out lots of crystals, stars, stickers, and tape from the scrap booking section. Who knew that craft stuff could be so addictive? I also found some good Derwent water colour pencils, some paintbrushes and some really great textas and pink highlighters. I think I also managed to snaffle some sparkles and glitter…but shhhh.

Then I settled down on the couch with my journal, art supplies, scissors, magazines, glue and a respectable supply of chocolate for an afternoon of creative bliss.

If you want to start your own journal you might like to subscribe to Gala’s Radical Self Love Bible school here. She will send you weekly instructions every Sunday and give you plenty of inspiration to create a journal that reflects your own unique style and has you falling in love with yourself!

Gala Darling Challenge #4

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#4 Have a romance in your head ~ Gala Darling

In case you haven’t heard, I am slowly working through Gala’s list of 100 Things to Do When You’re Upset (The Sad Trombone List).

This week my challenge was to have a romance in my head. Ah! It sounds simple enough, but curiously it wasn’t. Perhaps it was because I was mildly distracted by Damon in the latest episode of the Vampire Diaries…oh wait! Isn’t that a romance in my head? Now, how to tell Cristian I’m romancing over a fictional vampire…hehehe…

Things I love Thursday

It can be tricky to focus on the things that you are grateful for and that you totally love, when you are feeling like a rotten little egg. That said, choosing to see the good, the light, and the immortal will help you to breathe, and pull you up into the world of the living again. Sometimes, though, you need to kick your own ass and choose to be happy not matter what is going on around you.

So having dutifully kicked my own bum a few times and dragged myself out of bed and reminded myself to see the butterflies…here are the things I have genuinely loved this week:

Mad mental health dashes to Office Works to smell the rows of stationery with my friends Diana and Rodrigo; finding some amazing purple boxes to hide treasures in; starting my Gala Darling Radical Self Love Bible; going a little overboard in the craft section at KMart and the $2 Shop but loving the heart stickers, glue, textas and sparkle awesomeness; sending love to my adorable niece for her birthday and plotting when I can see her next; cosplay photo shoots in the most amazing gardens up in Emerald with my stunning friend Neko (Leia) and our photo guru Neil Creek; finding out that our show has been accepted for a community television station season ~ yes we ran around the kitchen and jumped up and down!! Oh my flipping god! Indulging in Easter treats (of which there are way to many) until I have a chocolate belly ache; sinking into Cristian’s arms to sleep; morning coffee, hazelnut flavouring (amazing right?) and chats with the beautiful Nikolai; singing Titanium at the top of my lungs while I wait in a very long and slow queue to get into the carpark at Supanova; drinking wine and watching Saving Mr Banks; and holding hands with my love~bliss!

Things I love Thursday

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DAY 86

The weather is starting to get much cooler in this part of the world. Summer barely hangs on into the late afternoon. Rain is beginning to fall. The moon and stars are often still out as I make my way to work in the early morning. It’s beautiful. There is so much to love and be grateful for this past week: birthday gift shopping for my younger sister; yummy butter chicken; my crazy Gala Darling challenge filled with bubble baths, endless chocolate and sending gifts in the snail mail; the smell of fresh flowers; kisses in the kitchen; hanging out with my sons, just loving them to bits; writing until way past my bedtime; sinking into soft white sheets; experimenting with core desired feelings and their impact on achieving my goals; endless learning and exploring; being surrounded by goddesses; laughing at kooky cat videos online; playing with words; focussing on happy days…and happiness; watching another beautiful anime ~ 5 centimetres per second with Cristian; loving KPop Star and party drinks; digging out my Winter woollies and waking up to morning rain ~ yay!!

5 Ways to start with your heart

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DAY 83

24th March, 2014

When Brene Brown talks about being worthy it gives me goose bumps. Like Danielle LaPorte, she doesn’t speak about worth as something you earn or deserve. Being worthy is unconditional. Brene simply states that we are each worthy, even though we are not perfect. Danielle adds that we are all important. Incredible. Loved. Even though we are not perfect. We still deserve to be loved. Our presence is needed here.

Think about it. It’s like looking at your life hanging upside down on the swing while all the blood rushes to your head.

To say that we are worthy even though we are not perfect goes against much of what we are taught as children and adults. How many of us think – if only I am good enough, then I will deserve a good life. If only I am perfect enough, then I will deserve a perfect kind of life. Or if I do this, then I will get that. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself thinking “But I was so good!” “But I did the everything right!” while the bubbles disappeared down the drain and my world fell apart around me. I’m sure that I am not alone. I have heard plenty of others say, “But I’ve been good, why has my car broken down now?” “Why did my house get broken into, I’ve been good.” “I’m sick again, but I have been so good – I don’t deserve this.”

I’m sure that I am not alone. I have heard plenty of others say, “But I’ve been good, why has my car broken down now?” “Why did my house get broken into, I’ve been good.” “I’m sick again, but I have been so good – I don’t deserve this.” 

Of course our heads know that being good has nothing to do with some of the things that can happen to us or around us. Bad things can sometimes happen to good people. It’s just life.

What’s important though is how we respond to these very same things. Your car breaking down, or the house being burgled, your loved one dying or the relationship you hoped would work but didn’t, isn’t about what you deserve as a human being. And it’s not based on how good or perfect you are. You are a human being.

The nature of being a human being is that we are pretty flawed. Sometimes, no matter how good or lovely we are, we say horrible things or we do stupid things to people we love. Sometimes no matter how good or great we have been, other people can be mean or horrible to us. We know better, but sometimes we make mistakes. Often we fall over. But we are still worthy of being here.You are worthy of being here. Making mistakes doesn’t mean that you are no longer worthy of good things happening to you.

Being worthy, also doesn’t mean that you are entitled to everything. There is a difference. We are talking about being worthy in a healthy way.

So, let’s start with your heart.

Here are some questions to think about first:

What is the story you hold deep inside of your heart that you tell yourself? I don’t deserve this because…

I don’t belong here because…

I can only belong here when or if I work really hard, or prove myself in this way…

If you think that you don’t deserve to be here or you are not worthy, then no matter what you do you will always feel empty. You will always be chasing your dream and pushing it further out of your reach at the same time. If you don’t think you deserve something in your life you will be the first one to sabotage yourself. You may just simply give up because it is too hard, or you will make it overwhelming, or perhaps you will stop making time and space for your dream to happen. “I just don’t have the time to attend that class, build that business, create that painting, direct that film…” Sound familiar?

Or perhaps you think the opposite way? I deserve everything no matter what…

I should be given everything because the world owes me….

I only do things for people when they do something for me…why should I go out of my way for someone if they don’t give back…

I only do things to look good, get some mileage….

Both Brene and Danielle would link this kind of story to fear. Shame. And a distinct place of lack. This is a place where you believe that only some people are entitled to the good stuff, and that there us not enough to go around. It’s not a good place to be. Mainly because if you are playing in this sandpit you are likely to be very conflicted and find yourself very lonely and wondering why.

So lets start with your heart. Lets start with loving yourself. Really love yourself – no strings attached!

One of  Garla Darling’s activities is to start with a Radical Self Love Journal! Yep. It’s pretty radical!

You can check out her other self love programs on her website, but I think that this is a great idea to start with, because it makes you create some space for yourself and focus on you; even if it’s just for half and hour.

Her first step for creating your radical journal?

1. Purchase yourself a beautiful notebook and while you are at it, find some good pens, pencils, stickers, magazines, glitter…whatever makes you feel like your five year old creative self. And don’t forget the glue and scissors! You don’t need to have heaps of money to do this either. You can find some beautiful and inspiring stationery supplies in K-Mart or your local $2 shop these days. I bought a gorgeous pack of purple notebooks from K-Mart with inspirational messages on them. I also picked up a great little journal with a red leather cover and completely blank pages in a small news agency. Or you can go all out and head to KiKi or Smiggle. But get something that you love and that you can carry around with you in your bag.Your journal is moving in with you for the next month!

2. Make a promise to yourself. Gala has a number of first steps here, but the one that spoke to me was from her first ever video tutorials from the Radical Self Love project. You can check her out on You tube, but essentially the first thing you are going to do is write a promise to yourself for the month. “I promise to love myself this month.” “I promise to commit myself to my own personal growth.” “I promise to see the good in people.” “I promise to look for the beauty around me.” It can be anything that means something to you.

3. Find a totem. Gala also suggests that here you might like to find yourself a totem. Something that will remind you every day of your promise to yourself for the month. It can be a necklace, or a gem stone in your pocket. Perhaps it’s a scarf or a hat or a special ring? Something that you can preferably wear every day so that when you see it or touch it you will be reminded of your commitment to yourself. I bought a heap of love heart and angel wing necklaces in all shapes and sizes. My sister in law found an awesome website where we could pick up gorgeous heart and wing jewellery for only a few dollars. I haven’t stopped wearing them since. Every day they remind me of my commitment to not only myself but to others. They remind me of what I have to give to this world.

4. Write down every compliment you receive for the next week. Every single one. And when you receive them, say thank you. That’s it. Thank you. Nothing else. “Your hair looks awesome!” ‘Thank you.” ” I love that jacket.” “Thank you.” “You are so funny, you should be a comedian.” Thank you.” And write it down. When I started doing this I realised that I wasn’t too good at graciously accepting compliments. I felt awkward and would generally say something along the lines of “Don’t be silly”, or “you don’t know what you are talking about” I had no idea how offensive I was actually being to the person who was taking the time to compliment me. But I also had no idea how, with every denial, I was sabotaging myself and strengthening my story of not being good enough.

5. Write down all of the things that are amazing about you. Of all of the activities that I love, this is one of the best. I have used this when I am coaching or working with young people and it is an eye opener. Often people start out struggling to come up with just one thing that they think is awesome about themselves. It can be a mix of really not thinking that there is much to like/love. It can also be about feeling like we are being conceited or stuck up if we consider what may be awesome about who we are. I’m not asking you to walk around thinking you are better than everyone else. I am asking you to think about your own uniqueness. Who are you? Because you are beautiful. Special. You are definitely incredible. Important and you deserve to be here. If you get truly stuck with this one, then ask your best friends. What do they think is amazing about you? Perhaps ask your parents? Or your favourite teacher or coach.

That’s just the beginning of the process. It’s a start to realising that you deserve to be loved. That you deserve to be here. Even though you are not perfect; you are worthy.

100 Things to do when you’re upset: The Gala Darling Challenge

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DAY 78

In case you haven’t realised I really like a challenge.

I love the way they get me out of my own headspace, and basically stop me from being bored or lazy or just feeling sorry for myself. It’s one of the reasons I like training days, or attending workshops, or simply giving things a go. I am slightly addicted to testing myself, and questioning the status quo. My addiction has seen me standing on top of a gigantic tree with a flying fox, in spite of being petrified of heights; running on the sand for hours in the sun competing against another team, in spite of disliking sun and sports equally; taking up challenges like#100happydays and attending events such as otaku cons or Neko Nation just to meet new folk and broaden my world. It’s also a way to breathe some quirky, wild fun into my life!

This week I went back to work and felt like I had been hit with a sledge hammer. Within days I was dealing with last minute reports that had to be written for the Director within absurd timelines, staff issues coming out of my ears, deadlines being demanded and a ridiculous amount of emails to respond to. The hours were long and I struggled to find any joy. Yep, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I had also managed to stress my immune system out again by triggering another dose of chronic uticaria. Fun! I had tried the usual stuff: my favourite pink pyjamas, wine, talking with fiends, sleeping in that extra five minutes. But really I was down in the dumps big time! It happens to the most positive of us. There are times we all struggle to change our mindset, even if we have the tools. So I went back to my heros. The ones that will always give me something that reignites my heart, inspires me or just listens. I have a beautiful friend who brought me my favourite cup cake (red velvet sparkle) and just listened to me for 20 minutes while I sooked. I have a son who just seems to know when I need that extra hug or a text message telling me what a great mum I am. I have another beautiful friend who reminds me every day that I need to look after myself. He’s also very good at giving me books to read. I have a husband who adores me, and when I am flat lining he instinctively brings me hot cups of tea in my favourite mug and strokes my hair.

I also have role models who aren’t physically in my life and some are no longer walking this earth. But they are my go to people when I need a good pep talk: Richard Branson, Gala Darling, Danielle LaPorte, Eleanor Roosevelt, Audrey Hepburn and Brene Brown.

This morning as I hid under the doona feeling like a smacked kitten, I instinctively I looked up Gala’s Radical Self Love section. My mood needed some serious medicine, and she never fails to shift my perspective. While I was reading and journalling I came across one of her famous lists: 100 Things To Do When You’re Upset (The Sad Trombone List). I got to thinking, what would happen if I tried everything on her list? Everything. Even wearing a fake moustache for a day? I have never done or even thought of doing much of what is on her list. Ah, my addiction is piqued! So I have decided to take on the challenge. 

The challenge will be that every Saturday I will try at least one of the tips on Gala’s List. I’ve included the list to her site and list so you can follow along or take up the challenge yourself. I will document the task with photos, a small post or a video through Instagram and it will be posted on my DBM facebook page to follow. Some days I may be brave and try two, or three. But the challenge will be to try at least one!

Perhaps you might like to try it with me. 

“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.” 
― Chuck PalahniukInvisible Monsters

Much excite, many joy

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DAY 77

I have a cute and quirky friend, Katey,  who has an equally quirky way of telling the world about how happy she is. She often mixes up her verbs, nouns and adjectives. Instead of saying, “I’m really happy about this.” or ‘I’m having a lot of fun.” She will say “Ohhh much excite right now!” or, “This has given me many joy!” I can’t emulate her cute voice, but just the words being written in the wrong order, or out of context somehow makes me sit up and listen. I can’t even write the sentence without an exclamation mark, it carries so much emotion!

It got me thinking about how we can go about our daily lives and miss the extraordinary. How amazing things can become a bit ‘ho hum’ because we don’t acknowledge it. How we can miss the beauty of our world around us because we have forgotten somehow how to articulate it in a way that has meaning for us.

So how do we renew our passion and inspire ourselves? How do we jump start our hearts to see the richness and extraordinary moments and things in our lives?

Here’s 5 tips that may give you much excite and many joy!

  • Change your daily language to describe your emotions! You don’t have to do what my friend Katey does, but think about your go to words. I spent years saying, “that’s cool”, or “I love that”. Both words ended up loosing all meaning for me. They felt like dried out prunes. So something that really was cool was no longer really touching my heart. It gave me zero joy. Think about how we greet people every day with “How are you?” or “How’re you going?” the automatic answer is “Good thanks, and you?” After years of saying ‘good’ on auto pilot, it just rolls off our tongues like paper; dry and awkward.Try changing both the greeting and your answer. “It’s so good to see/meet you. How has your day been?” might elicit a different response. The other week I asked one of my sons this question and he said “Mum, I’m living the dream!” It’s hard not to have a conversation after this!!
  • Make a list of words that describe your feelings. Check out your words and their meaning on the dictionary online or my new favourite tool: visualthesaurus.com. Make sure that your words reflect who you are and what you feel. They should feel luscious and true when you say them. Put your top 5 words on a post it note and pop them in your diary so you see them every day. At the end of each day, I like to shift my post it note to the next day in my diary, so I see them every morning when I get to work. Or you could put them on your fridge, or bathroom mirror. Change your words up every week, or every month! It’s also a great way to expand your vocabulary.
  • Listen to your most inspirational role models. Who inspires you? Perhaps it is someone physically in your life like your mum or your best friend. A co-worker or a coach. Perhaps it’s someone you don’t know at all, a celebrity, a politician, a world leader? They could be dead or alive, it doesn’t matter. Focus on the things that they describe around them. How do they articulate the journey that they are in? They inspire you with both their words and their actions, so how do they communicate that with you in a way that makes you feel inspired to step up and be a better version of yourself. One of my many inspirational role models is Gala Darling. Her daily posts on both her facebook page and her website always make me think about who I want to be. When I have had a particularly shitty and disheartening day, she always draws me back to a place where I can find my own inner power and an acknowledgement that I am the decision maker in my life; I am the one who decides whether or not to fight. I am the one who chooses to love my self and to be happy.
  • Start with your heart. Your feelings are the most powerful drivers in your life. If your heart isn’t right , then your life will be a mess of spaghetti! If you haven’t already, do some work on your heart and your feelings. Who are you really? What are your go to feelings every day? What story do you tell yourself every day? How do you speak about yourself every day. What do you therefore see every day? If you are feeling like a complete waste of space, because the story in your head is that you were never wanted as a baby and nothing you can do will prove that you deserve to be on this earth, then you are likely to be telling yourself that you are powerless to change yourself and your experience of life. Your words will revolve around a deep inner sadness of abandonment and fear. Your expression of yourself will be full of pain. You will only see the grey mist. But if you can be brave and be honest about that one feeling that is driving your life and foundation story, and courageous enough to step up and change it, then you will change your existence. You might like to start with Gala’s Radical Self Love Project, or if you are feeling particularly brave today, try some Desire Mapping with Danielle LaPorte.
  • Try something different every single day for 30 Days. Write a list of 30 things that you think will bring you many joy. Don’t think big picture, just small every day things. Perhaps putting a bunch of flowers on your bedside table to wake up to every day because they remind you of love and make you feel like a goddess. Or perhaps small bunches of flowers everywhere you sit like your desk, your coffee table, your kitchen bench! Perhaps you could try a different morning drink, like a herbal tea because it makes you feel a little bit daring and adventurous. Maybe you could dress up in your favourite outfit to do the most mundane thing, like supermarket shopping, or going to work, or walking your dog because it makes you feel wicked and cheeky and happy! Put on false eyelashes, just because they make you feel glamorous. Buy a special pen because it feels exotic to write with. Write a card to your friend about how much you love and care for them because it makes you feel like a bloody good person. Eat one of your favourite childhood cereals for breakfast, even if it’s not too good for you because it connects you to your inner child and you feel palyful! What ever you do, think about how it makes you feel inside. Think about the words you are using to describe your experience. Do your words give your experience justice? Do they breathe life into the moment? If not, go on a quest to find that perfect word! Write it down and add it to your flourishing vocabulary!

Just a few of these things will not only change up the way you see and feel your daily experience, they will open up your heart and mind to the richness that is already present in your life. They will also open you up to new possibilities and opportunities.

Ah yes, much excite, many joy!

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lama XIV

A sickly little moment

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Day 36

5th February, 2014

Today I have been feeling pretty sickly, so I thought I would focus on ‘things that I love’ to make me feel a bit better. If you haven’t tried this before, it is an idea started by Gala Darling, who I think is one of the most inspirational bloggers around. She posts “Things I Love Thursday’ on her facebook page and site every, you guessed it, Thursday.

Mine are a little different. I usually post a “Things I Loved this week” on my facebook page every Sunday night. It’s a good reminder of the extraordinary life I am living and how much love and joy I am surrounded by. It’s also a little reminder of how quirky I am, but still good.

Anyway, hopefully it inspires you. If you are having a tricky day or not feeling too good for whatever reason, remember to breathe and that your life is very precious.

Things I LOVED this week: a kind text message from a very beautiful friend, who really has no clue how beautiful she is; endless cups of tea in bed with my favourite, turquoise and crimson china tea cup; creating my Dream Board and realising that I have already accomplished quite a few of the goals on my bucket list in just a month! Watching my beautiful niece get married to an equally beautiful young man in the Royal Botanical Gardens, and dancing at their wedding to a Syrian band; realising that I am ridiculously fortunate to be working and playing along side some incredibly gutsy and talented women; meeting a few of our awesome fans who follow our YouTube Japanese pop culture show, ‘It’s Japan, Man!‘ Cuddles with my sweetheart of a cat, Mia; big conversations with the little people in our family, Sienna, baby Jordan and baby Cruz; escaping from the 40+ heat, to a lovely little restaurant on the banks of the river, and having an unexpected lunch with friends; finding another quirky film that I love ~ Warm Bodies ~ who knew zombies could be sooo cute! Sleeping. A lot! Hanging out with a room full of entrepreneurial and creative women at the League Of Extraordinary Women’s breakfast; Having a pedicure and a foot massage, there is something incredibly luxurious about being taken care of; holding hands with my sweetheart of a husband and falling asleep, again, in his arms. These are the things I loved this week.

By the way, how are your Gratitude Jars, or your Bucket List Jars going?

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”  – Maya Angelou

A daring adventure

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Day 29

29th January 2014

‘Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.’ Helen Keller.

Sometimes I feel broken. I ache to come home, crawl into bed and stay there for a few years. Just to get up in the morning seems like an insurmountable effort. As if I’m unexpectedly being asked to climb Mount Everest. It’s all too much. Kill me now.

When I’m in the ‘black slump of doom’, it’s hard to imagine a better life, let alone a fantastic, extraordinary life. I’m surrounded by the darkness and I am quick to give into the whispers of destruction and negativity.

Until a slither of light sneaks through.

Because really the doom and gloom stuff gets seriously boring, pretty quickly. You know the feeling you get on a hot summers night when you’re caught up in the bed sheets, and you just can’t get comfortable? That’s the doom and gloom wearing thin. It’s not long before I realise that I’m feeling way too sorry for myself, and that lying in bed under the doona, with my feet caught up in the sheets, really isn’t going to change anything. It won’t fix me. If anything it will probably just make it worse.

I’m not suggesting that there isn’t a time and a place to crash out and feel a bit blah, but staying in that bed for too long is just a waste of your precious time. You are way more worthy than that. And as they say – there is nothing to gain by playing small.

So let’s say you are feeling a little bit broken. How do you get yourself out of the bed of doom? How do you stop playing small and find your inner spirit again?

Here’s a few ideas:

1. Get up

Honestly, nothing can change with you lying on your back, alone, under the doona. Nothing. You will just get more of the same. Doona, darkness, gloom, tissues, fear, doona, darkness, gloom…well you get the picture. Get up and wash your face, or have a shower, brush your teeth and make a drink. Whatever you do, DON’T turn on the television! It’s just full of more doom and gloom, and you don’t need to add it to your little mound of darkness!

2. Sit in the sun

People who know me will be laughing in shock. I’m not really a sun girl and usually tend to avoid it like the plague. But even I know what’s good for me. A little bit of sunshine or a bit of fresh air is good for your soul as well as your vitamin D levels. If it’s good weather in your corner of the world, find a spot to sit in the sun and breathe. Perhaps you have a beautiful garden where you can take off your shoes and sink your feet into the soft wet grass? Or a park you can walk to, that is close by? Maybe you have a balcony or a small courtyard that gives you a view of the street? Close your eyes and listen to the world around you. This is the world that you are very much a part of.

If it’s the middle of winter, perhaps you have a spot you can sit near a window with a view? Try to sit somewhere, where you can see the sky, and remember that there is a whole universe outside of your home. Wrap yourself in a warm blanket or shawl and reconnect with the world.

3. Breathe

Grab a lovely chair or a stool and sit for 15 minutes in the fresh air or near a window, just breathing. Breath in. Then breathe out. Re-connect with your body. Remember our friend Thich Nhat Hanh? Breathe in – now I am breathing in. Breathe out – now I am breathing out. Hey! You’re breathing! Not bad!

4. Tell yourself you are worthy

You may be a little bit broken at the moment, but this time will pass. You may be tired, sad, cross, whatever is happening right now, this time will pass. Because even though you are broken  -you are still good. Even though you are broken – you are still worthy of a daring adventure. You are still worthy of an extraordinary life. You are a majestic, beautiful, broken human being, and you are worthy and still good.

5. Remind yourself about the good stuff in your life and write it down!

Spend a good 15-30 minutes writing down what is good in your life. What are you grateful for? If this is an unexpected challenge, then start small. Perhaps you love the tea cup you drink out of every morning? Or maybe you are grateful for your mum who is always calling you to see how you are? Perhaps snuggling with your cat is the best thing in your life, or sinking into your partner’s hugs…

6. Make a promise to yourself

Once you’ve reminded yourself to be grateful for the good stuff in your life, it’s time to make a promise to yourself. Today you are going to make one promise and stick to it. You could promise yourself that you will accept who you are/ find something good and beautiful about yourself every day/seek the good in people around you/learn to breathe/get out of bed everyday/stand up for yourself/ teach people around you how to love you/write down one thing you love about yourself every day for 100 days… Whatever your promise, dare yourself to take on the adventure!

7. Find a totem

I love this idea. Gala Darling introduced it when she developed The Radical Self Love Project. Basically you want to find a totem that will remind you every moment of every day about your promise to yourself, and what you are trying to achieve for yourself. It can be anything! A necklace, a ring, a photo, a drawing… I have 3 different types of totems depending on what I am doing. If I am focussed on caring and compassion, I wear one of my heart necklaces. Some days it’s about focussing on my promise to follow my dream, so I pull out my butterflies. I have butterflies in my diary, on my notice board at work and around my computers. Most of the time though I wear my angel wings. My wings remind me why I am here on this earth and my promise to myself to live a life that is worthy, a life of integrity, that makes a difference to everyone I meet.  You can make your totem anything that is meaningful to you. Elephants, scarves, skulls, or stars. It can be anything! But make sure your totem is something that you can wear, or put in your wallet, or see all the time, reminding you to behave like the free spirit your were born to be and stay focussed on living your daring adventure!

So I’ll leave you with this today: