Share It Forward Sunday

You’re a goddamned treasure whether you want to believe it or not. 

-Savannah Brown

 

You may have noticed that I love poetry…words tumbling and dancing together to create a story or an emotion that touches our hearts and souls. That describes our experience. That creates the world around us.

Poetry Slam is usually a competition where poets read, perform or recite their work. It’s awesome stuff and YouTube has many amazing poets that you can watch. There are also lots of local Poetry Slams in most major cities. Melbourne has a vibrant community of poets that you can connect with here or if you are interested in a slam, here.

This week I wanted to share Savannah Brown’s poem: What Guys Look For In A Girl: A Slam Poem. Her work has been posted on A Mighty Girl and Upworthy a few times, and she also has her own facebook page. I love her! Savannah is 17 years old. Her poems are passionate, angry, honest, uplifting and beautiful beyond words. As she says, she’s just a 17 year old girl from Ohio who likes making videos and stuff…

She also writes awesome poems…

Hope you love this too…

 

Special thanks to Upworthy for the transcription below:

When I first learned that no one could ever love me more than me, a world of happiness previously unseen was discovered because somewhere along the line of ageing and scrutiny and time, I was taught to despise myself.

But I made sure I kept myself beautiful so someone would love me someday, so I could belong to someone someday, because that’s the most important thing a little girl could ever want, right?

I was 13 the first time I was embarrassed about my body, of course it might not be the last, and I remember stuffing my bra in the morning, tears stinging my eyes, hoping, praying to something that I could look beautiful enough today, braces and all, for the ruthless boys who mercilessly told me I was worthless because my boobs weren’t big enough.

And I would go home and put on a sweatshirt with my eyes closed, deny myself the right to be shown myself because I didn’t dare want to insinuate beauty in regards to something so insulting as my body.

But, I mean, we all end up with our heads between our knees because the only place we’ll ever really feel safe is curled up inside skin we’ve been taught to hate by a society that shuns our awful confidence and feeds us our own flaws.

And sometimes when I need to meet the me that loves me, I can’t find her or remind her that the mirror is meant to be a curse so that I could find her in my mind, but when he or she shouts, “Let me out!” we’re allowed to listen.

But it’s met by a chorus of conceited, egotistical narcissists. But since when was self-substitute a sin? Since when was loving who we are made an offense by morons that don’t matter? Change this physicality and that one. Don’t you dare shatter the illusion that you could ever be anything beyond paper-fine flesh and flashy teeth and fingernails. A code of accusations of not good enough, never good enough. Have you ever felt so numb that it hurts? Entertain me.

You can’t surrender to them. You’ve gotta remember that you’re the only thing you’ll ever truly have. And no, I don’t mean your body. Because someday that will go bad no matter what you do. I mean you. I mean the way your bright eyes go wild when you smile and how your laugh is so melodic it’s a song.

I mean the way your creativity is a compass that leads you to what you love. And you don’t need any miracle cream to keep your passions smooth, hair free, or diet pills to slim your kindness down. And when you start to drown in these petty expectations, you’ve gotta re-examine the miracle of your existence because you are worth so much more than your waistline. You are worth the beautiful thoughts you think and the daring dreams you dream, undone and drunk off alcohol of being.

But sometimes we forget that because we live in a world where the media pulls us from the womb, nurses us, and teaches us our first words: skinny, pretty, skinny, pretty, girls, soft, quiet, pretty, boys, manly, muscles, pretty. But I don’t care whether it’s your gender, your looks, your weight, your skin, or where your love lies. None of that matters because standards don’t define you.

You don’t live to meet the credentials established by a madman. You’re a goddamned treasure whether you want to believe it or not. And maybe that’s what everyone should start looking for.

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Life

Starry-Night-Sky-12

Life

is for deep kisses

for wrapping your arms around someone who is precious

for adventures to places where the stars cover the sky

for real hot chocolate and freshly made cake to share

Life

is for eating buckets of rich home made ice cream on a hot summer day

for sinking into a soft warm bed

for walking on squeaky white sand

and rambling conversations late into the night

Life

is for swimming in crystal clear water

for ridiculous moments with dear friends

laughing until you cry and your stomach aches

for allowing your curiosity bring you to new lands

and dancing on the beach at dawn

Life

is grieving for what you have lost

for sinking into endless despair thinking you may die from the pain

aching and screaming silently

but when the time comes getting back up anyway

Life

is finding the place you belong

for singing loudly in hot showers

for burying yourself in the person you love beyond words

for strange moments that completely and utterly change everything

and being free

to come home.

 

Caz Espinoza, 7th May, 2014

Breathe

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Close your eyes

Breathe

Let your body fall against mine

Breathe

Let me kiss your skin

Breathe

Feel your heart and know its mine

Breathe

Take my hand and cry your tears

Feel my breath

Taste my love

Like I taste yours

Breathe

Feel our fingers through my hair

Breathe

Take the time

Were not leaving just yet

Feel what I taste

Taste what I take

Take mine

and

breathe.

 

– Caz Espinoza, 2 May, 2014

We Sat

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We sat together. Side by side.

We had been sitting like this for nearly an hour now.

We cried. Softly. Almost silently. Into the emptiness that yawned out in front of us.

We looked at the garden beyond. Our eyes focussed on the wooden backyard fence in the distance.

Our minds numb. We knew that the world continued beyond the boundary.

We knew that time wouldn’t stop for us.

It ran ahead, busy with the rest of the world, abandoning us, immune to our cries.

We sat. Together.

We sat alone in our hearts. Alone in our worlds wondering what had happened. How did we get here?

What did we miss?

We sat and searched our memories.

How did this poison leach into our breath?

How did it seep into our dreams?

“I promise it will be different.” he said

I believed him. I wanted to believe him. So I did.

I smiled. “Okay.”

It was better that sitting here crying. It was better than feeling hopeless.

My heart was tired. Mascara blackened my face. But I stopped shaking.

“Okay.” I said again.

My son took my hand and smiled.

And we sat.

Together.

For a little longer.

We Sat, Original Poem, Carol Espinoza, 21 April 2014

I lie in my skin

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I can hear my blood pulsing through my veins

It seems that every cell, every inch of my skin strains to listen

I am frightened

Scared to death

My brain is racing ready to attack

I look out from my body of sweat and skin

I have been wounded before

Left broken and

Devastated

Sick

Dying

I will not fail again

The hours go by but I do not move

I am safe. Secure

The days leech into each other

But I am safe. No-one can touch me. No-one can hurt me

I will not fail

The weeks slide into months

But I am safe. No-one is here

Just my bitter thoughts and dreams

I will not fail

The years crackle and fall

But I am safe. I am alone with my precious dreams

Safe

I will not fail

I am safe.

Carol Espinoza, 2014

I Crave

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DAY 62

I CRAVE

I crave love, freedom, to dance in long grass in the middle of nowhere,

to sleep in fresh cotton sheets listening to the wind sing around my house…

I crave to be surrounded by love,

to be amongst my friends on a late summer afternoon drinking wine and telling stories that make us laugh until our bellies are sore…

I crave good food that makes your tongue melt, wild music, cuddles with my children,

thunderstorms that make me happy to be wrapped up inside by the fire…

I crave being abandoned, kissing in the dark,

the smell of my love’s chocolate skin, feeling strong…

I crave the universe buried within the dreams of another lifetime, hard stone steps felt through soft slippers, the smell of freshly baked bread,

singing across the ocean at worlds end…

I crave freedom, to explore, to play hide and seek across the world,

to lay down on the white sands of a remote beach surrounded by the sound of waves  gently rocking me to sleep…

I crave a beautiful, passionate life, where my heart is full and my dance is long,

where I am wild, abandoned, creative, strong,

me.

Carol Espinoza, 3 March, 2014

Original Art Work by Kirsten Bailey Check her out at: http://www.klbaileyart.com