A tale of blood and bliss

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There was blood all over the kitchen floor.

My friend was pale and muttered something about lying down for a bit, then he slid down the wall in slow motion and collapsed on my father’s linoleum floor.

I was horrified.

My eyes were fixed on the deep pulsing slash on my friends forehead. How did this happen? Why did we think this was a great idea? No, seriously, how on earth did we think that this was a smart idea?

The massive silver fishing knife was still in my hand. I dropped it on the kitchen bench like an uninvited spider. It clamoured and protested against the modern brown and orange tiles, it’s sharp blade still covered in Colin’s blood.

Colin.

He was still on the floor, his face stark against his black Irish hair.

God, don’t die. Don’t die.

I ran to the bathroom and found a clean towel; when I got back Colin had slumped a little more down the wall. The bleeding looked like it had slowed a little, but I was fourteen. What the hell did I know?

I lay Colin on the floor and firmly pressed the towel down on the deep crimson gash across his forehead. Colin groaned. Good. He was still breathing. That’s good right?

“You’re going to be fine Colin.” Oh god was I going to cry? Don’t bloody cry. Just stop and think.

Okay, so the good news was that Colin was breathing, and (lifting the towel up) the bleeding was stopping…sort of…I think.

I looked around at the kitchen. The floor was covered in blood from when we had sliced the blade across his forehead. Okay. When I had sliced the blade across his forehead. Colin had screamed like I was murdering him and run around the room with his hands over the cut. “Shit! Shit! That bloody hurt!”

At first I had laughed, thinking he was being a baby, but then I had noticed the blood. Pouring through his fingers. Streaming down his beautiful angular face and onto the floor.

“Sit down Colin! God, you’re making a mess. My mum’s going to kill me!”

Yep, she was going to kill me alright. Here I was with a nearly dead boyfriend, and blood everywhere, and no good excuse for not being in school on a school day.

I looked at Colin.

He was breathing, but he still looked pretty white. Yep, smart idea. Pretend Colin had fallen over and cut his head, so we couldn’t go back to school. It had seemed like the perfect story to get off our afternoon classes. Really there is only so much of geography and Miss Burt that we could take.

So we’d decided to cut his forehead with a knife, and that way it would look like  he had really fallen over. We hadn’t accounted for the fact that a cut from a fall would be jagged, and perhaps filled with gravel or dirt, while a knife leaves a distinct slice through the skin; something which a very astute resident pointed out in emergency a few hours later when Colin’s mum took him in for eighteen stitches. We also hadn’t accounted for my enthusiastic approach to every task I am given, and my unexpected skill for filleting fish; or in this case Colin’s head!

Colin opened his eyes.

I let out a huge sigh. Oh thank god. I think it’s going to be alright.

“What are we going to do now then?” He cocked his eyebrow and gave me a grin.

I burst into semi-hysterical giggles.

“Um…clean up?” My eyes looked around the kitchen. Oh great, there’s blood on the fridge as well.

Colin began to sit up and visibly paled again. I pushed him back down on the floor.

“Perhaps you can lay here for a bit while I clean up this mess, and then we can take you to the doctors.”

“Wasn’t quite the way I thought we’d be spending the afternoon…but I guess we’d better get you away from that knife.” he smirked again, then groaned as I punched him in the arm.

“Well I was determined to make sure we did it right!”

Yes, I was determined.

Perhaps I was also a little misguided, and naive, given I was only fourteen. Oh and I was lucky. Bloody lucky that the universe hadn’t allowed me to actually kill or permanently damage my friend. But I was definitely determined to make something happen.

Determined to get what I wanted.

And it’s true, sometimes determination is the great driving force. I don’t want you to think that it’s not. It keeps you focussed on your goals and it helps you to achieve what you want to achieve in your life. We need that fire. My dogged (perhaps a bit more mature an well thought out now that I am older) determination has certainly brought me incredible experiences and achievement.

But we also need to enjoy the moment. To savour what we are experiencing right now.

Sometimes when you are so determined and focussed on controlling everything in your life, things can spiral out of control. No, it’s true, not everyone slices up their friend with a fishing knife, but if t’s all about the goal, the determination, the fire! fire! fire! you can start making insane decisions in an effort to stay in control.

You also forget to enjoy the very moment you are in.

And it’s often in those moments that you find simple, exquisite joy. That you find you can breathe. That you find you have no real control at all, but this is exactly where you want to be; it’s the essence of a life well lived.

So remember to stop the chaos, step away from the knife and make time in your life to be present in the very moment you are living in.

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Being

From Cheetah Learning

From Cheetah Learning

Day 37

Thursday 6th February, 2014

Being

I feel the silver moon dance across your skin

and breathe in the star light

begging you to think again

how is it that you can’t see what you manifest around you

as you lay your muddy path and walk towards tomorrow

please don’t slide into your pain again

please don’t cry

open your heart and find the morning

find the reason to wake

remember how to be brave

you can find your wings again

and let your fingers dance through the water

feel the ocean smash through your soul

breathe the stardust and the salty life that surges and surrounds you

sing your joy again

be brave and

gather tomorrow towards your heart

please remember your courage

rise up and fly again.

Carol Espinoza, 6th February, 2014

“Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.”
― Neil GaimanThe Sandman, Vol. 6: Fables and Reflections

A sickly little moment

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Day 36

5th February, 2014

Today I have been feeling pretty sickly, so I thought I would focus on ‘things that I love’ to make me feel a bit better. If you haven’t tried this before, it is an idea started by Gala Darling, who I think is one of the most inspirational bloggers around. She posts “Things I Love Thursday’ on her facebook page and site every, you guessed it, Thursday.

Mine are a little different. I usually post a “Things I Loved this week” on my facebook page every Sunday night. It’s a good reminder of the extraordinary life I am living and how much love and joy I am surrounded by. It’s also a little reminder of how quirky I am, but still good.

Anyway, hopefully it inspires you. If you are having a tricky day or not feeling too good for whatever reason, remember to breathe and that your life is very precious.

Things I LOVED this week: a kind text message from a very beautiful friend, who really has no clue how beautiful she is; endless cups of tea in bed with my favourite, turquoise and crimson china tea cup; creating my Dream Board and realising that I have already accomplished quite a few of the goals on my bucket list in just a month! Watching my beautiful niece get married to an equally beautiful young man in the Royal Botanical Gardens, and dancing at their wedding to a Syrian band; realising that I am ridiculously fortunate to be working and playing along side some incredibly gutsy and talented women; meeting a few of our awesome fans who follow our YouTube Japanese pop culture show, ‘It’s Japan, Man!‘ Cuddles with my sweetheart of a cat, Mia; big conversations with the little people in our family, Sienna, baby Jordan and baby Cruz; escaping from the 40+ heat, to a lovely little restaurant on the banks of the river, and having an unexpected lunch with friends; finding another quirky film that I love ~ Warm Bodies ~ who knew zombies could be sooo cute! Sleeping. A lot! Hanging out with a room full of entrepreneurial and creative women at the League Of Extraordinary Women’s breakfast; Having a pedicure and a foot massage, there is something incredibly luxurious about being taken care of; holding hands with my sweetheart of a husband and falling asleep, again, in his arms. These are the things I loved this week.

By the way, how are your Gratitude Jars, or your Bucket List Jars going?

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”  – Maya Angelou

A daring adventure

gothic charm school

Day 29

29th January 2014

‘Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.’ Helen Keller.

Sometimes I feel broken. I ache to come home, crawl into bed and stay there for a few years. Just to get up in the morning seems like an insurmountable effort. As if I’m unexpectedly being asked to climb Mount Everest. It’s all too much. Kill me now.

When I’m in the ‘black slump of doom’, it’s hard to imagine a better life, let alone a fantastic, extraordinary life. I’m surrounded by the darkness and I am quick to give into the whispers of destruction and negativity.

Until a slither of light sneaks through.

Because really the doom and gloom stuff gets seriously boring, pretty quickly. You know the feeling you get on a hot summers night when you’re caught up in the bed sheets, and you just can’t get comfortable? That’s the doom and gloom wearing thin. It’s not long before I realise that I’m feeling way too sorry for myself, and that lying in bed under the doona, with my feet caught up in the sheets, really isn’t going to change anything. It won’t fix me. If anything it will probably just make it worse.

I’m not suggesting that there isn’t a time and a place to crash out and feel a bit blah, but staying in that bed for too long is just a waste of your precious time. You are way more worthy than that. And as they say – there is nothing to gain by playing small.

So let’s say you are feeling a little bit broken. How do you get yourself out of the bed of doom? How do you stop playing small and find your inner spirit again?

Here’s a few ideas:

1. Get up

Honestly, nothing can change with you lying on your back, alone, under the doona. Nothing. You will just get more of the same. Doona, darkness, gloom, tissues, fear, doona, darkness, gloom…well you get the picture. Get up and wash your face, or have a shower, brush your teeth and make a drink. Whatever you do, DON’T turn on the television! It’s just full of more doom and gloom, and you don’t need to add it to your little mound of darkness!

2. Sit in the sun

People who know me will be laughing in shock. I’m not really a sun girl and usually tend to avoid it like the plague. But even I know what’s good for me. A little bit of sunshine or a bit of fresh air is good for your soul as well as your vitamin D levels. If it’s good weather in your corner of the world, find a spot to sit in the sun and breathe. Perhaps you have a beautiful garden where you can take off your shoes and sink your feet into the soft wet grass? Or a park you can walk to, that is close by? Maybe you have a balcony or a small courtyard that gives you a view of the street? Close your eyes and listen to the world around you. This is the world that you are very much a part of.

If it’s the middle of winter, perhaps you have a spot you can sit near a window with a view? Try to sit somewhere, where you can see the sky, and remember that there is a whole universe outside of your home. Wrap yourself in a warm blanket or shawl and reconnect with the world.

3. Breathe

Grab a lovely chair or a stool and sit for 15 minutes in the fresh air or near a window, just breathing. Breath in. Then breathe out. Re-connect with your body. Remember our friend Thich Nhat Hanh? Breathe in – now I am breathing in. Breathe out – now I am breathing out. Hey! You’re breathing! Not bad!

4. Tell yourself you are worthy

You may be a little bit broken at the moment, but this time will pass. You may be tired, sad, cross, whatever is happening right now, this time will pass. Because even though you are broken  -you are still good. Even though you are broken – you are still worthy of a daring adventure. You are still worthy of an extraordinary life. You are a majestic, beautiful, broken human being, and you are worthy and still good.

5. Remind yourself about the good stuff in your life and write it down!

Spend a good 15-30 minutes writing down what is good in your life. What are you grateful for? If this is an unexpected challenge, then start small. Perhaps you love the tea cup you drink out of every morning? Or maybe you are grateful for your mum who is always calling you to see how you are? Perhaps snuggling with your cat is the best thing in your life, or sinking into your partner’s hugs…

6. Make a promise to yourself

Once you’ve reminded yourself to be grateful for the good stuff in your life, it’s time to make a promise to yourself. Today you are going to make one promise and stick to it. You could promise yourself that you will accept who you are/ find something good and beautiful about yourself every day/seek the good in people around you/learn to breathe/get out of bed everyday/stand up for yourself/ teach people around you how to love you/write down one thing you love about yourself every day for 100 days… Whatever your promise, dare yourself to take on the adventure!

7. Find a totem

I love this idea. Gala Darling introduced it when she developed The Radical Self Love Project. Basically you want to find a totem that will remind you every moment of every day about your promise to yourself, and what you are trying to achieve for yourself. It can be anything! A necklace, a ring, a photo, a drawing… I have 3 different types of totems depending on what I am doing. If I am focussed on caring and compassion, I wear one of my heart necklaces. Some days it’s about focussing on my promise to follow my dream, so I pull out my butterflies. I have butterflies in my diary, on my notice board at work and around my computers. Most of the time though I wear my angel wings. My wings remind me why I am here on this earth and my promise to myself to live a life that is worthy, a life of integrity, that makes a difference to everyone I meet.  You can make your totem anything that is meaningful to you. Elephants, scarves, skulls, or stars. It can be anything! But make sure your totem is something that you can wear, or put in your wallet, or see all the time, reminding you to behave like the free spirit your were born to be and stay focussed on living your daring adventure!

So I’ll leave you with this today:

A dark little story of self love

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I’m a bit of a gothic girl at heart. When I was a little younger I used to raid my grandmother’s wardrobe. Thank the goddess that she was a hoarder. She had three bedrooms filled with wardrobes that in turn were filled with pristine dresses, coats and bags from the 1930’s and 40’s. It was a teenage gothic girls mothball heaven.

After watching me play dress ups in her bedroom for months, my grandmother finally relented and allowed me to choose a few of her treasures to keep. It was a defining moment in our relationship. I pretty much worshipped the ground she walked on from then until the day she left this incarnation.

I chose two soft fitted floral dresses, a jet black tailored coat and some accessories, that included gloves and a 1940’s handbag. When I matched them with jet black stockings and black lace up boots my mother thought I was crazy.

It was the middle of an Australian summer and here I was wrapped in tailored black, with a whisper of delicate deep green and blue floral fabric peeking through. My eyes are a deep blue, which back then I surrounded with plenty of black makeup and my hair of course was long, straight and a deep red.

I thought I looked elegant, mysterious and beautiful. My mother was confused. While my sister ran around in the 40+ degree heat in shorts and a t-shirt, I glided through the days like I had just stepped out of a Victorian Winter.

I loved myself back then. I loved how I looked, but most of all I was happy being me. This was who I was and it made me feel strong and confident about myself. It made me feel really good in my own skin. And even though there were very few people who dressed or behaved like I did, I felt incredibly happy to be me.

Over the years of course, I’ve had plenty of moments where this hasn’t stayed true. I have doubted myself, and been my own worst nightmare. There have been moments of despair, and moments where I have been so overwhelmed by my perception of the world that the only way to survive seemed to be to sink into a quiet numbness. But as Ram Dass says, “You can’t build joy on a feeling of self loathing.” You can’t create a life either. And you most definitely can’t live.

You either sink into a sickening depression, or you spend every minute of your life trying to please everyone to prove that you are good enough.

When you accept yourself and feel strong in your own skin; when you can love yourself and believe in your own beauty (not just physical beauty, but your inner beauty) then you not only change your own life, you breathe life into those around you.

Accept yourself. Believe in your heart that you are extraordinary, and as William James says “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

7 ways to love yourself and others

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DAY TWENTY FIVE

25th January, 2014

My friends are in love. They have been in love for a long time, but they didn’t know it at first. There were many moments that they gravitated to each other, circled around and left. Some days they sat in the same room and got nothing done, because it was all talking and giggles. Other days they told themselves they needed to be serious in this world and both tried very hard, until they breathed the same air and moved a few centimetres closer to the warm energy of each other. One day they realised they were friends, best friends, and for months they stayed like that; two beautiful stars caught in each others orbit, but neither one sure what the next move would be.

It felt like it took a really long time, but now they are together. Now they look at each other and smile. Now they spin a web of contentment around us all, and it’s palpable. We all smile back at them. Excited and a little scared for them. But blissfully happy that they have found each other.

Most of us love a good love story. We get really excited for our family or friends when they find that special someone. Because love connects us. It makes us feel valued and precious. It connects us and gives a place where we belong. Not to mention how sex with someone we love, who loves us back, makes us feel pretty much drunk with pleasure…but lets keep this ‘G’ rated shall we?

It’s true, though, that before we can love someone else, or allow them to love us, we have to learn to love ourselves.

So here are some ideas for learning to love yourself (and others):

  1. Read Louise Hay’s ‘You Can Do It!” and follow the exercise on mirror work. It will help to to start loving who you are.
  2. Write down three things about who you are that you really love. Pop the list up on your wardrobe or bathroom mirror and add one more thing to the list every day for 30 days.
  3. Now go and ask your closest friends or family members to tell you two things they really love about you. Really listen to them, and look them in the eyes when they tell you what they love about you.
  4. Say thank you when people tell you awesome stuff about yourself. Don’t come back with something derogatory or negative like “oh, no, don’t be silly, I’m not beautiful.” Accept the complement and be generous and gracious back. Someone has just gone out on a limb to compliment you. Say thank you. That’s lovely of you to say that. I really appreciate you telling me that. or What a lovely compliment thank you…yep you are pretty gorgeous!
  5. Check yourself out! Yep, that may mean getting naked..or not. But take a look in the mirror for three things about yourself that are pretty awesome/beautiful/stunning! I’m sure that there are way more than three…but lets start there!
  6. Treat yourself and take a long bubble bath. Fill the bathroom with candles, put on some great music, throw in a bath bomb or bubble bath mix into the tub, and love your body! You are a seriously beautiful person. You deserve a bit of luxury and love.
  7. When you feel pretty good about who you are, pay it forward. Tell someone else. It could be a friend, a family member, a colleague, or your love. Tell them what you love about them. Tell them when they look beautiful/hot/sexy/cute. Tell the person that you love to hug and giggle with exactly how they make you feel – and do it with all of the love that you have for yourself and for them.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen ChboskyThe Perks of Being a Wallflower

Taking some time to live

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DAY 24

Friday 24th January 2014

Taking Some Time To LIve

Today I decided to take some time to live

I left the bed unmade, the dishes in the sink, and the bleach on the bathroom floor

Today I decided to live

To feel the world swirl and dance around me

To look into the eyes of my friends and grin

I held the hand of my love, and kissed his lips

I lay on the floor, sinking into the soft carpet and listened to my favourite songs

Today I decided to remember joy

and I laughed until my stomach hurt and my eyes streamed with tears

I ate fruit fresh from the market and ice cream from the tub

I stood under the shower for a very long time

And let the hot water bless my body and cling to my skin

I breathed in the roses from my neighbours garden, allowed a spray of perfume cling to my skin

I drank cool wine from a teacup and watched the summer rain drench my potted herbs

Today I woke up

and saw the universe playing hide and seek between the sheets

and it took me a while to believe I could join in

Today I decided to choose to live

I danced in the kitchen with the baby and giggled

I remembered to love until my heart ached and i was dizzy with expectation

and I cried

I cried for the days that I had forgotten, for the days I had chosen to exist

But today I chose to live.

Carol Espinoza, 24th January, 2014

Thanking Kevin

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DAY 23

Thursday 23rd January, 2014

Kevin has been my doctor for over ten years now. When I first met him I had the flu. The real one, not a virus masquerading up the germ hierarchy ladder. This was the bonafide flu, complete with fainting, sweating and basically preparing to die.

Anyway, I stumbled into the clinic where he worked, hoping that they still bulk billed the medical fees and collapsed in his chair trying to stay conscious. Awesome. So far so good. Except when my vision cleared there was this extremely handsome, young (really, he could have been 17 he looked that young) Asian boy who talked a thousand miles an hour. When did high school kids start sitting their medical exams?

One of the things I liked right away was that Doctor Kevin explained everything that was going on in minute detail to me, albeit, very very quickly. I did have to ask him to repeat what he said a few times, not because he wasn’t fluent in English, but because an army of germs had camped out in my brain, and I could barely comprehend what was going on, let alone keep up with what he was saying.

Somehow Kevin understood my fevered rambling answers and gently rescued me with a shot of antibiotics and a script for half the store room contents of my local chemist. I lived and that was the first time Kevin saved my life.

Over the years Kevin became our family doctor, sorting, and treating through a myriad of infections, sore backs, broken bones, sick glands, un-discovered diseases, rashes, and the inevitable girl and boy stuff. As he has started to look a little older and his speech has slowed down, his wisdom and skill with doctoring has grown significantly. The result is that we trust Kevin implicitly and have faith that he will work hard and fight for our health and wellbeing.

Today I had to go in to see him about some annual tests. We had a bit of a giggle about all the free tests I was now eligible for given my age, and elevated risk factor status. Apparently as you get older there’s a higher chance of you dying…um…really?

Anyhoo, we talked about my sons as he printed off the freebie referrals, and booked in my next blood tests, (ah, don’t we all love a good blood test session with a vampire) and then he started to wrap the consultation up.

But I was on another mission.

“Actually Kevin, there’s one more thing.”

“”Oh, really I’m sorry…” He turned back to look at the computer screen to check that he hadn’t missed anything.

“No, you haven’t forgotten anything. I just wanted to say thank you.”

“Oh.” Kevin looked at me in shock. I realised then that perhaps Kevin doesn’t get thanked very often.

“Thank you so much for everything you have done for me and for my family. I know this is your job, but you are an amazing doctor and you have literally saved our lives on numerous occasions, and I just really wanted to say thank you.”

Doctor Kevin looked down at the floor and then looked up at me with an odd look on his face.

“It’s okay. It’s a pleasure.” Then he smiled.

I walked out feeling as if I had been thanked.

I have been thanking people a lot this week. I noticed that there are quite a few beautiful people in my life who support and care for me. So as part of the DBM mission, I added “thanking where possible” to my daily “to do” list. It’s not rocket science to genuinely thank the people in our lives who go out of their way to care for us. It is simple.

And you may be surprised at the bubbles of joy that endlessly pop inside you when you thank someone.

“Try a little harder to be a little better.”
― Gordon B. Hinckley

Dancing in the dark

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DAY TWENTY

Monday 20th January, 2014

What do you do when one of your dearest friends asks you to come dancing to celebrate her birthday?

You go of course! Even if the dancing turns out to be in a church hall. With the blinds drawn. In the dark. With lots of other strange people.

You show up and you dance with her.

Because being a friend (or being in any relationship) is about endeavouring to be present 100% and showing up. All of the time. Not just the times you don’t have something better to do, or you’re hit by the CBF (Can’t Be Frazzled) stick! It matters. I’m sure that we have all had moments when we have asked someone, our parents perhaps, or a friend, or a boy/girl friend to be there for us. And if they didn’t turn up, no matter what the reason, it destroys us a little. Because we all need people to be present for us and to show up! It really matters! It matters to your friend that you cared enough to come and dance in the dark with her. It matters that you kept your word. And it definitely matters that you are prepared to stretch your comfort zone, and do something a little crazy for her, because she means so much to you. You are also telling her that she is worthwhile and that you value and respect her by making the effort.

One of the key questions I keep asking myself throughout this DBM Project is, what kind of human being do I want to be tomorrow? It’s a little inside out this question. But basically it’s about considering the possibility that if the person/friend/lover you are with dies before midnight, what do you want to be saying to yourself the following day. What emotion do you want to be dealing with – regret? “Damn, I should have…” or that feeling that you honoured that person and that you did everything a human being should do for another. This question keeps me accountable somehow.

Perhaps you can ask yourself the same question today, or right now. What kind of human being do you want to be tomorrow? And therefore who should you be right now for your friend/lover/mother/brother/child…

And who knows , you may find yourself in a dark church hall on a school night, packed with other dancing divas, dancing to amazing music, celebrating with your gorgeous friend and feeling luscious inside your skin!

Bonus!

Post Script: Tonights dancing event was part of the No LIghts No Lycra dancing movement which is taking the world by storm. You can find out more about it here.

Bliss

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DAY TEN

Friday 10th January 2014

I am having a moment. It’s a bit of a ‘happy feet’ moment. I’m not dancing, but I am completely happy.

You know that feeling you get when you are on holidays. You eat good food, you meet new people, you take long walks along the beach in the warm summer nights, you try new things and laugh all the time, you dance to 80″s music, (okay – and some 90’s music) you drink as much as you like and sleep until mid day…then do it all again! You feel like all is well with the world and most importantly you feel like all is well with you. This is how life should be. Blissful. Absolutely and utterly blissful.

This is how I feel. Blissful.

Like this is the kind of life I am meant to be living, and I can barely articulate how good it feels.  There is that odd feeling, like when you walk into a new house and think, “Yep, this is home.” Perhaps that’s it? I am home.

I know that it’s only 10 days that I have been on this journey, and maybe it is a bit like a honey moon period. It’s all a bit new and different. But I am fascinated by how quickly I am adopting a new way of seeing things, and a new way of being, especially the people I come into contact with every day.

It’s a bit like when you first get your driving licence and you take the car out for a spin all by yourself. Apart from freaking out on the inside, you can still hear your instructor or your parents talking you through every step. “Put your seat belt on. Adjust the mirrors. Put the car into reverse. Take the hand brake off, now take your foot off the brake and …” well you know how it is. Then one day, perhaps without even realising, you stop talking yourself through every step of the journey. Driving a car somehow innate; you and the car somehow become one. You can even have a conversation with another person while you drive! Amazing!

Over the past 10 days my thinking has started to become similar.

I don’t always consciously think, “Okay, what if this person was about to die before midnight?”More often I am just  I’ve become better at listening, rather than waiting for the person I am with to draw breathe, and then interjecting with something ‘fascinating’ about me. I’m truly interested in what they have to say. And I am truly happy to be there just for them. Over the past few weeks this has led to so many beautiful conversations and moments, but what is more exciting is how much more vibrant I feel. I literally cannot wait to get up and out into the day. I can’t wait to get to work. I can’t wait to be in the world.

Perhaps this is what flying feels like. Just a little.

It’s definitely blissful, this weird little journey I am on.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Mahatma Gandhi