The pleasure state


DAY 46

15th February, 2014

I opened my eyes, and immediately wanted to shut them again. Sharp, stinging pain shot across my brain. Great. I have a headache. Again. Immediately my head was filled with all of the things I needed to get done today. The washing, the food shopping, the house needed cleaning and we had a film shoot. With 5 guest speakers and hosts. There was no way I could cancel  it. We were also racing to meet a deadline to upload the next show to YouTube. Even though our show is an amateur project, we already have hundreds of followers who view the show every week, and send us endless comments and cute emails inspiring us to keep making the show. I couldn’t let them down. And frankly I didn’t want to.

I turned over and repositioned the pillow under my head. Maybe if I lay like this a little longer my head would clear. My cat jumped on the bed next to my head and started to need the pillow and purr in my ear. Seriously MiMi? I opened one eye. She purred even louder and nudged my face. This is code for “Get up! I need to be fed.” Now in the past I may have tried to hunker down under my doona, but I have learnt over the ten years of living with MiMi, she is by far the superior being and will always win out in any battle of wills. Her desire to be fed, is far greater than my desire to sleep. Apparently.

So I dragged myself downstairs with my head pounding, fed MiMi and Cuba (our dog who relies on MiMi to do the dirty work and get me out of bed), put the kettle on and rummaged through the medicine cabinet for pain killers. This was going to be one long day.

What an interesting thought.

Well, if that was my mindset, it was definitely going to be one long day. One painfully long day.

What if I changed my thinking, and instead thought about what an amazing day I was about to have? And what if I looked for the good, the beautiful, the exciting, the best of the day? What if I practiced mindfulness, and focused on breathing, being present and savouring every moment?

What if I chased the pleasure?

So here’s what happened today:

  • Our house was filled with vibrant beautiful young women who are all supercharged about the culture they are a part of, and I got to share that passion too.
  • Coloured wigs, doll like make up, laughter, giggles.
  • The washing got done to blaring music and KPop!
  • I had a moment where I thought, “Wow, I am surrounded by this quirky sense of beauty and it’s so gorgeous!”
  • We ate lots of chocolate. It was fantastic.
  • I filmed some really cool interviews and I learnt so much about Japanese fashion and anime!
  • I got to be creative and craft the stories we tell. Super awesome.
  • I cuddled my husband. I breathed him in and looked into his chocolate brown eyes and felt deliriously happy and content. I am so in love with this man.
  • We planned a trip to Japan around our massive wooden kitchen table. We told lots of crazy stories of our previous travels and now we are going with a huge group! Super excited!
  • I drank copious cups of hot sweet tea. I remembered to breath and smell the tea and be in the moment. It helped me to focus my mind and calm myself.
  • We played Japanese card games late into the night and I won my first ever game! Elated! I felt invincible!

When everyone got up to leave, I was stunned that it was nearly 9.00pm! Wow! Where had the day gone? At some point, my head had completely cleared and although I was tired I felt really happy. I had spent the day doing what I loved. With people I really loved being with. I felt awesome. Empowered. Happy. Changing my mindset and focusing on being mindfulI in the morning, meant that I was now feeling lusciously connected to every moment throughout the day.

It’s true that it wasn’t straight forward. Apparently, my mind is a wild little beast that keeps running away with the wolves, so it takes some effort to pull her back to the moment I am in. To stop and breathe. To feel the pleasure of being me in this life.

But I figure that this is like any other new thing I want to learn. It’s like any other new behaviour or skill. So I am committing to practicing mindfulness for the next 30 days.

That’s it. Just 30 days. Every day.

Of being aware of my mindset.

Of being mindful.

Of creating a pleasure state.

Of taking the time to be me.

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.”
― E.E. Cummings


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