Getting Frank

Marco PIcaro

Marco PIcaro

DAY 28

28th January 2014

It’s a little surprising.

And I definitely didn’t consider that this would happen when I started the DBM project.

I thought I may be kinder, perhaps more considerate. I thought I could muster up some compassion. But I didn’t think that my life would start to shift in this way.

I am prepared to fight. I am prepared to fight with all my strength for the people I meet and for the people who are already in my life. I have this weird ‘this girl is on fire’ thing going on. It’s like I am suddenly prepared to fight for the human race, and do what I can to change people’s lives. Surprising.

Before this project I would put my case, or give my opinion but only if asked. And then I would step away. I didn’t think it was my place to say more. I didn’t think I should interfere.

But when you come from a place of wanting the best you can possibly muster for the person before you, then something shifts in both your heart and your head. Add a time limitation, such as hitting the dust before midnight, and the urgency to consolidate all of my energy and skills to change a perceived outcome is overwhelming. If I don’t say it, then who will? If I am not frank and honest, then who else will say the things that I can’t say? If I don’t fight for this human being, then who else will stand up? I will not go quietly into the night…

Now that’s not to say that I have started bossing everyone around and telling them how to live their lives. It’s more about teaching people to stand up for themselves. Identifying what their strengths are and building on these. Challenging their assumptions and the limitations that they have placed on themselves. Being brave and saying what need to be said.

You are what you believe you are, and if you can’t see that you are actually much more majestic that what you believe, then sometimes you need someone else who is brave enough to tell you. To hold up the mirror to your face and show you how to look at your reflection.

So in the past few weeks, my conversations have changed. I’m learning to be much more frank and open in my conversations, because this seems to lead to changes in people’s lives. It also seems to push people to stand up and fight for themselves.

Here’s the thing: To show someone all the compassion and care and kindness you can muster, you have to truly want the best for them. And sometimes that means fighting them…for them! It’s not just about doing something nice. It’s about being the difference for them, so they will in turn believe that they are worthy of a better outcome.

‘Everyone has an angel; a guardian who watches over us. We can’t know what form they’ll take. One day, an old man – the next day , a little girl. But don’t let appearances fool you – they can be as fierce as any dragon. Yet they’re not here to fight our battles, but to whisper from our heart. Reminding that it’s us. It’s every one of us who holds the power over the world we create.'(Sweet Pea, SUCKER PUNCH)


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