7 ways to love yourself and others



25th January, 2014

My friends are in love. They have been in love for a long time, but they didn’t know it at first. There were many moments that they gravitated to each other, circled around and left. Some days they sat in the same room and got nothing done, because it was all talking and giggles. Other days they told themselves they needed to be serious in this world and both tried very hard, until they breathed the same air and moved a few centimetres closer to the warm energy of each other. One day they realised they were friends, best friends, and for months they stayed like that; two beautiful stars caught in each others orbit, but neither one sure what the next move would be.

It felt like it took a really long time, but now they are together. Now they look at each other and smile. Now they spin a web of contentment around us all, and it’s palpable. We all smile back at them. Excited and a little scared for them. But blissfully happy that they have found each other.

Most of us love a good love story. We get really excited for our family or friends when they find that special someone. Because love connects us. It makes us feel valued and precious. It connects us and gives a place where we belong. Not to mention how sex with someone we love, who loves us back, makes us feel pretty much drunk with pleasure…but lets keep this ‘G’ rated shall we?

It’s true, though, that before we can love someone else, or allow them to love us, we have to learn to love ourselves.

So here are some ideas for learning to love yourself (and others):

  1. Read Louise Hay’s ‘You Can Do It!” and follow the exercise on mirror work. It will help to to start loving who you are.
  2. Write down three things about who you are that you really love. Pop the list up on your wardrobe or bathroom mirror and add one more thing to the list every day for 30 days.
  3. Now go and ask your closest friends or family members to tell you two things they really love about you. Really listen to them, and look them in the eyes when they tell you what they love about you.
  4. Say thank you when people tell you awesome stuff about yourself. Don’t come back with something derogatory or negative like “oh, no, don’t be silly, I’m not beautiful.” Accept the complement and be generous and gracious back. Someone has just gone out on a limb to compliment you. Say thank you. That’s lovely of you to say that. I really appreciate you telling me that. or What a lovely compliment thank you…yep you are pretty gorgeous!
  5. Check yourself out! Yep, that may mean getting naked..or not. But take a look in the mirror for three things about yourself that are pretty awesome/beautiful/stunning! I’m sure that there are way more than three…but lets start there!
  6. Treat yourself and take a long bubble bath. Fill the bathroom with candles, put on some great music, throw in a bath bomb or bubble bath mix into the tub, and love your body! You are a seriously beautiful person. You deserve a bit of luxury and love.
  7. When you feel pretty good about who you are, pay it forward. Tell someone else. It could be a friend, a family member, a colleague, or your love. Tell them what you love about them. Tell them when they look beautiful/hot/sexy/cute. Tell the person that you love to hug and giggle with exactly how they make you feel – and do it with all of the love that you have for yourself and for them.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen ChboskyThe Perks of Being a Wallflower


One thought on “7 ways to love yourself and others

  1. That quote by Stephen Chbosky is going to be tattooed on my back along with a few other quotes from him. This was a very good post. Although I have already figured most of this out it is nice to know that I’m not the only one in the world who is single and surrounded by couples.

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