Monday 20th January, 2014
What do you do when one of your dearest friends asks you to come dancing to celebrate her birthday?
You go of course! Even if the dancing turns out to be in a church hall. With the blinds drawn. In the dark. With lots of other strange people.
You show up and you dance with her.
Because being a friend (or being in any relationship) is about endeavouring to be present 100% and showing up. All of the time. Not just the times you don’t have something better to do, or you’re hit by the CBF (Can’t Be Frazzled) stick! It matters. I’m sure that we have all had moments when we have asked someone, our parents perhaps, or a friend, or a boy/girl friend to be there for us. And if they didn’t turn up, no matter what the reason, it destroys us a little. Because we all need people to be present for us and to show up! It really matters! It matters to your friend that you cared enough to come and dance in the dark with her. It matters that you kept your word. And it definitely matters that you are prepared to stretch your comfort zone, and do something a little crazy for her, because she means so much to you. You are also telling her that she is worthwhile and that you value and respect her by making the effort.
One of the key questions I keep asking myself throughout this DBM Project is, what kind of human being do I want to be tomorrow? It’s a little inside out this question. But basically it’s about considering the possibility that if the person/friend/lover you are with dies before midnight, what do you want to be saying to yourself the following day. What emotion do you want to be dealing with – regret? “Damn, I should have…” or that feeling that you honoured that person and that you did everything a human being should do for another. This question keeps me accountable somehow.
Perhaps you can ask yourself the same question today, or right now. What kind of human being do you want to be tomorrow? And therefore who should you be right now for your friend/lover/mother/brother/child…
And who knows , you may find yourself in a dark church hall on a school night, packed with other dancing divas, dancing to amazing music, celebrating with your gorgeous friend and feeling luscious inside your skin!
Post Script: Tonights dancing event was part of the No LIghts No Lycra dancing movement which is taking the world by storm. You can find out more about it here.